No Such Thing as Too Much Dice
What is the essential difference between a girl gamer and her male counterpart? Is it their style of play? Is it in character building? Is it in crunch versus fluff? Nope boys and girls, it’s in the dice. Or more specifically, how many sets one owns.
“But how many sets of dice do you really need?” you might ask. Darling, that’s like asking a girl why she needs one more pair of shoes. Many of mny close girlfriends own more than a handful of dice sets. And when the boyfriend protests a dice purchasing habit, many a girl gamer will defend herself. One girl says, “You can never have too many dice!” while another will say, “And the best part is, they’re cheaper than shoes!”
It’s true! I have found myself more than willing to splurge on dice rather than shoes. In my frequent chats with girls about our dice, we have made the following observations.
They are just so darn pretty. How can you resist?
Of course, different girls have different tastes. One of my friends has a collection made up almost entirely of pink dice. Another is trying to collect dice sets for each Lady Gaga song. I’m not quite sure what my own aesthetic standard are for dice, as they don’t seem to have much in common so far aside from the fact that they’re all ridiculously pretty.
Dice, like ex-boyfriends, get very jealous.
The problem with buying more dice is that the older sets seem to throw a fit over the introduction of newcomers. Such a crotchety response usually manifests in rolling badly out of spite. I’ve seen one older set roll a critical failure THREE times in a row. Ouch! These dice are essentially feeling inadequate and taking out their frustration on you, their master.
Another gamer couple has told us in all seriousness that you need to have the dice share the same space so that they can “get along”. Rather than scoff at the idea (I’m always willing to try any bit of advice at least once), I’ve found it to be uncannily true.
Being pretty doesn’t equate to rolling well.
Okay, so despite the fact that dice aren’t as expensive as shoes, I’ll admit that you don’t have to convince your shoes to cooperate with your desires. Dice, more often than not, are fickle servants who must be rolled frequently before a game truly begins, to ensure that they are ‘trained’.
The whole point of dice is to roll high. Roll high, and kick ass. One girl asked me once, “Is there a way to roll it better, to get higher numbers?”. Ah, if only this were possible without having to actually load the dice. Many of us girls have latched on to GameScience Dice. Their sharp edges are supposed to guarantee true randomness, at least that’s what GameScience’s Colonel Lou Zocchi says.
Well, a girl will find any excuse to own more dice.
The truth of the matter is that while GameScience do really seem to roll out more randomly – ensuring that there are more 20s… and more 1s – the real reason my girls and I have gotten into them is that the gem dice sets are just SO sparkly.
My previous purchase was a gorgeous translucent teal set from Chessex. I told myself I really needed them to (a) add a splash of color to my collection and (b) the corners were ironically so rounded, they rolled like gelatinous cubes and practically danced on the table. (the d12 is practically an orb).
I knew it would be difficult to justify yet another dice purchase to Matthew, so I had to sneak the money to my friend right under his nose while he as playing BANG!. She then passed me my dice in a similarly clandestine fashion. You know there’s something wrong when you have to hide dice purchases from your boyfriend.
Fortunately this particular set was greenish in color, so I rolled a part bluff, part diplomacy check to tell him, “I got them for US. Isn’t green your favorite color anyway?” He gave me a skeptical look, but at our next game, he confiscated them and rolled them throughout the whole session. That was okay though, because my Tiefling Warlock (who was an angsty runaway teenager with a Dark Spiral Aura) didn’t really match those bright green dice anyway. Well, that’s what I told myself while I pouted and rolled my older set.
Dice also make the best gifts for fellow gamers.
As an early Christmas gift, I received a gorgeous Steampunk set from Q-Workshop from a good friend. I literally had tears in my eyes when she handed them to me. They are easily my most beautiful set: each die has its own unique steampunk design. THAT, and the dice even come with their own backstory:
These cubes are a part of a mad scientist machinery, that was supposed to influence time fate of those, who use it. Unfortunately for the scientist, the matter of the machine warped in the process, leaving behing only those cubes with the machine carved in them. The machine still works in the dice, ensuring the paint doesn’t wear off and altering the fate of those who use it.
It is in my humble estimation that the strongest bonds in gaming groups are forged between those who buy dice for one another. I spent weeks thinking about what set I could possibly get a fellow gamer who favors characters who fall into the Dark Side easily (my first campaign with him saw his Jedi transform into a Sith and try to kill all of us). For Walker Using Ranger’s recent birthday bash, she received no less than three sets of dice. (I was informed that my dice are in honor of Lady Gaga’s “Monster”).
And recently I earned myself one gazillion girlfriend points when I bequeathed Matthew with a set made entirely of pure metal. I may have made a mistake as he tends to roll his dice hard, and these dice can easily cause 1D12 damage to glass tables and 1D8 damage to wooden ones (I am not joking, the damn things leave marks). But boyfriend gamers deserve only the best, don’t they?